Why I rarely carry cash

My 9 year old son got a pogo stick for Christmas.  Within days he was breaking world records held by previous pogo champs.  So yesterday I decided to offer a challenge.  I told him if he could pogo all the way around the block without falling off – no putting your foot on the ground, that I would give him all of the money in my wallet.  

And it was on.  He strapped on his helmet, replaced his shoes with flip flops and begged mom to walk with him.  

About 10 minutes later I heard the joyous noise of laughter and bouncing…I was in trouble.  I set down my book (a best read in quite some time by the way), and checked my wallet.

Oops.

Days earlier I had cashed a check, and there in my wallet was $100.  Like any good dad, I quickly took it out.  Perez knocked down the door, ran up the stairs yelling, “I did it…all the way around, now where’s that wallet?”

Perez pilfered through my wallet, finding about $8 in Ugandan schillings and $4 in Haitian Goudes…he was thrilled, I was relieved.  Then the truth came out.

He did not actually make it.  At one point, Ali asked Perez to get off the pogo stick because he was terrifying a small dog.  ”Sorry Perez, but you lost.”  ”But dad, mom made me get off or else I would have made it!”  ”I know, you did the right thing listening to mom, but you still did not make it, sorry.” “That’s not fair dad.”  Ali agreed.  But I didn’t budge.  Life is not always fair.  There are consequences even when you do the right thing.  

I wish it could end here.

This morning (not sure why it took a full 12 hours) I felt convicted.  Perez didn’t make it, but I cheated too.  I didn’t hold up my end of the deal.  

So it’s on again, a re-do (No, I don’t think it’s a good idea to offer my son $100, but there are consequences for me too).

At 3:30 today, Perez will once again strap on the helmet and fill the streets with laughter.  And again I’m reminded why I rarely carry cash.

Blogs I’d like to write…but probably never will:

1. How American Christians now worship their church over God and follow its  programs over Christ.
2. Successfully navigating failure and what those two words mean.
3. The high price of winning the presidency and what its really costing our country.
4. Popularity contests and pastors.
5. Because I support ________, does not mean I am ant- __________.

Top 10

A couple of weeks ago, I was discussing these words from 1 Timothy 4:7-8 with some friends:

train yourself to be godly.  For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

While we were talking, I was thinking about how much I liked that the writer said that physical training has some value.  I agree, I like to work out, I feel like it makes a difference.  I liked even more the idea that godliness has value for all things, not just for some after life, but for this present life too.  I agree, if godliness has no value for today, then what’s the point.  So I get to work out my body and it makes a difference and I get to exercise my godliness and it makes a difference.  I like that.

Until the conversation turned to questions.  What is “training in godliness”?  How do you train?  What do you do?  Help.
Then the suggestion came, “Steve, why don’t you blog, helping us understand what this means.”  Well, here you go.  This is the first post, a list of things that I think matter.

1. We need to know what the goal is.  If we have no idea what we hope to be or become in our “godliness training” we will quit.
2. When you first begin, it will be awkward, it will hurt, and you will be sore.
3. It will take time.
4. Choose activities you enjoy.  If you hate getting up early to read the Bible, don’t do it.
5. Set realistic goals.  ”I will start praying 5 hours a day beginning tomorrow,” will certainly fail.
6. Recognize and celebrate progress.
7. Don’t beat yourself up for setbacks or bad days.
8. Find a training partner.
9. You don’t have to wait for New Years, you can begin right now.
10. and coming in at #10….Confess that “church” has become an idol.

More on all of these next time…starting with 10.

Pro-Choice

I often fly American Airlines when I travel.  As the plane begins to taxi, a really nice video comes on with various AA employees thanking me for flying American.  The video ends with the words, “we know you have choices when you fly, thank you for choosing American.”

Choices.

Why do I choose American?   Sometimes the flights are purchased for me.  Sometimes they are my only option.  I sometimes cash in frequent flyer miles.  Most of the time, I choose American if the times are most convenient and the price is most competitive.  It isn’t about the service, the comfort or the AAcommunity.  I don’t care about their mission statement or business plan.  Their awards or struggles don’t affect me.  My decision making is pretty shallow, I choose for the simple reason of price and convenience.

Choices.

This method seems to work just fine when choosing an airline, but its application is used far broader than the friendly skys.  Why did you choose the car you drive, the lunch you ate, the place you work, the friends you hang with, the hobbies you enjoy, the charities you give to, the people/person you date, the movies you watch, the places you shop, the community with whom you worship.

Pause for a moment and think about the choices you make.  What do the choices you make reveal about what you value?  Are your choices influencing your values or are your values influencing your choices?

What might change if I spent at least as much time considering my values as I do on Expedia?  One of life’s greatest privileges and greatest challenges, is the power to choose.  As you make your way through this day, may the choices you make be aligned with your values and may your values be aligned with the One who granted us permission to choose.

Hi, my name is Steve and I’ve pulled my head out

In another life (my typical justification for things I’m not real proud of), I often heard myself yelling out at others, “pull your head out” (my friends loved me).  From the football field to the construction site, I was gifted at identifying things that many others did not.  And I wanted them to.  I expected them to.  How could others not see what I saw?  Funny how this has now come back to bite me in the butt this year.

This year, I didn’t expect to be sidelined with a debilitating bulging disc for 6 months.  I didn’t expect some of my closest friends to move or move on.  I didn’t expect to travel out of the country 7 times.  I didn’t expect to find myself wondering if our church was going to make it.  And I didn’t expect what all the unexpected would do in me.

Recently it hit me.  I could hear my mentor, my church planting coach, conference speakers I’ve heard, authors I’ve read and even my wife screaming at me, “Pull your head out!”  Okay, those are my words, but its what I “heard” and what I needed to hear.

And it is good.

I set out 5 years ago to start this church in downtown San Diego.  I had a plan.  A dream.  Even a VISION.  It was thought through.  Prayed over.  I was called to do it!  Lots of good things have happened, I don’t want to discount any one of them.  But I think this first 5 years have been about me (This sort of self focus usually results in a “pull your head out”).  Seminary had not adequately prepared me. My previous ministry experience had not prepared.  I needed these years to learn, grow and ultimately, allow God to plant a church in me.  And He has.

And its ready to come out.

I don’t know what to expect.  I’m not going to tell you what is going to happen.  But I have never felt more alive.  More in love with my wife and family.  More committed to ministry.  More in love with Jesus.  More passionate for people.  More focussed on the gospel.

Good things to come.

Since when did

Something happened.  It happened slowly, subtly.  But it has happened.  A shift.  You may not have noticed, maybe you have.  But its happened.  Now that I’m aware of it, I notice it frequently.  The shift finds its way into cafe conversations, FB updates and just about any other place where people interact.

Since when did integrity stop meaning living consistently with your beliefs and values (or staying true to your convictions).  Now it seems, that if one lives with integrity, he is labeled a hater.  Judgemental.  Close minded.

Guess what you are if you don’t live with integrity but maintain a value system.  Hypocrite.

We can do better.  I want to maintain a value and belief system.  I want to live with integrity.  I don’t want to be a hypocrite.  I don’t want to be a hater.  Not everyone will agree.  Not all will understand.  But it is possible.

It is possible to value equality.  It is possible to love.  It is possible to disagree with one another and still get along.  It is possible to live with integrity, even in a day with so many conflicting value systems, and not be a hater.  Possible, but not easy.  Hypocrisy is easy.  Having no convictions is easy.

I humbly offer the following.  It is good to have convictions.  It is good to live by them.  Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe is good and right and true.  But do so in love, even if the world around you thinks you’re a hater.  Don’t allow the shift to bump you from a living with integrity.

Reflections: The Positive

I am now 1 year away from being old.  In 362 day I will turn 40.  So I spent some time earlier this Summer reflecting on the next year(s) of my life and what really matters to me.  Of course I am still committed to the local church, living downtown, adopting a second child and working with Childrens Heritage Foundation.  Here are 3 things (of about 7) that will shape how I move forward:

1. Health Matters – Surprisingly, eating worse and exercising less has not yielded the results that I was hoping for.  So I started a new fad diet (that begins with no 7-11, Starbucks or things associated with either).  My wife Ali asked, what if you wanted to buy an orange from 7-11…nope.  But for me its more than weight and waistlines.  I have been dealing with an aching back for 5 months and I refuse to live the next year feeling this pain.  So I’m making decisions to care a little more about my physical health.
2. Discipleship: what else matters (other than health) – Discipleship, rightly understood, should shape all that I do.  From ordering my next caffeinated beverage (oops, I don’t do that anymore) to pastoring the church.  Simply put, as followers of Jesus, we have no higher calling, perhaps no greater purpose, than making disciples.  Your wording may differ from mine, and how we live it out may vary, but if you believe your life is meant to be lived for any other purpose, you may be off the mark.  The reasons and implications of this go far beyond the scope of what I want to write here…sorry.
3. Go IV It – “I’m not sure,”  will become, “I’m going for it.”  Growing up, my dad had a personalized license plate reading, GoIVit…Go 4 It.  This will be a year where I “Go For It.”  There is nothing or no one holding me back from the things that I believe God has been inviting me to do.  It will be a year of courage and adventure.  While in seminary, I had a very influential mentor who frequently asked what it was I wanted to do.  I was never good at answering him, because I don’t like to choose.  One day he looked me straight in the eye and said, “don’t choose, do it all.”  Not sure why I waited until 2011, but I’m going for it.

Reflections: The negative

Thinking a bit over the past 12 months on things I’ve wrestled with.  Here are 3 of them.

1. Doing church downtown is more difficult than I imagined.  Facilities, parking, noise and costs present challenges.  And these are the easy things.  Few people are looking for a church.  Most I meet are in desperate pursuit, but have aimed their passions in all directions but God.  I meet very few people who are looking to settle down, start a family and find a church.  This is no complaint, in fact I love it…it just makes some things more difficult.  The city also tends to be a phase for people.  Some want to “try it out,” get their fill, and leave.  Point 2.
2. The constant “coming and going” of people sucks.  It is hard to know that it won’t be long before I say goodbye to the friends I am making today.  I love that I get to meet so many people, and I am grateful for any amount of time spent…but it is tough to say goodbye so frequently.
3. Diversity causes division.  It has been my experience, that when people can’t agree, they part ways.  Today we live in a world crying out for equality and unity, but I’m not convinced.  What I’ve seen, experienced and probably even lived out myself…looks more like segregation than unity.  Unity is not the absence of differences, but staying together, united, in spite of them.  If we bail on one another because of differences, seeking out other people, places or things more like us…is that not segregation?  I find nothing wrong with affinity groups, most of us are attracted to people and things that are like us, but I am concerned that we are more driven by affinity than unity.  From my vantage point, we are a far cry from unity.

Living for another

What happens when we live for self?  What might be possible if we lived for another?

When we leave our local bookstore for Amazon, we get convenience, the bookstore suffers and Amazon doesn’t notice.
When the mom and pop gets deserted for the big box, we save a buck, mom and pop shut down and the big box doesn’t notice.

The same could be said for salons, cafes and churches.  We make decisions for self.  Our likes and dislikes.  Convenience and cost.  What can I avoid and what do I get out of it.  And each one of those choices has a ripple effect of consequences.  Sure, we might save a little money or time but our choices do more.

Businesses shut down, churches close their doors, people suffer.  Adding one more Costco customer is insignificant compared to the loss of that same customer to our local businesses.  The impact of one family leaving a small church is felt more than a mega church adding that family to their membership.  People all around the world, near and far, need my $3 more than I need the caffeine.

What would happen, if even for a day, each of us lived for another.  Another person.  Another cause.  Another purpose.  If we put aside our likes and desires.  If we didn’t mind spending an extra $1.25.  If it wasn’t about my benefit but what I could contribute.  If personal satisfaction didn’t rule our ways.

No doubt, some businesses would still close.  Some churches too.  Suffering may not come to a complete end.  But we would see a transformation.  From the emotion with which we drive to the joy we find in generosity.  We would be changed.  People would be changed.

Each choice you make matters.  When you consider where to eat, worship or spend your money, consider your choice.  Consider choosing to live for another.

Space

Part I
I have no interest in NASA, I’ve never liked Star Trek and I can name only one constellation.  Still, I think about space a lot.  A different kind of space.  Or spaces.

I often question if I have enough space.  Do I have enough space in my garage, in my sock drawer or on my book shelf.  Life sometimes feels cramped, and I seek out more space.

I work a lot with space.  I pastor a downtown church where space is often in question.  Will we maintain our lease?  Will we be able to secure a space?  What is the mood or feel of our space?  Will we have parking space?  Is there a space for kids?  I also work overseas, much of which is developing space.  Schools, dorms, orphanages, farms…all need space.

Space needs to be developed.

There is a space in my head.  A space where dreams and visions and planning occur.  It is an active space.  A crazy space.  More goes on in that space than will ever be realized.  Sometimes that space feels cramped, often that space needs to be developed.

I think about the private spaces of my life.  The space where I rarely let others visit.  My fears, doubts, failures.  Perhaps the most developed space in life.

Then I ask questions.  Do I have space for my family, for God, for people who think and live and believe much differently than I do?  Do I free up space in my day for me, to rest…to be still?  Do I create space to be available for others, to sit…to listen?  I do and I don’t.

Part II
Shared space.  Help fill in this space with what you think should be said next.